Mom a year on

Things can change!

Here we are almost a year out from my mother’s death.

The way I felt then was intense, hard, so angry. I was angry that she chose to die. I was hurt.

A year later, it’s weird. It’s all changed. I have compassion and love in my heart for her.

I’m so grateful.

I miss her so much. My sister told me about a dream she had and she was so happy to see mom. “Mama! Mama”. She called out to our mother. Mom asked what am I wearing, how do I look and my sister told her. A beautiful, flowery dress. You’re in your mid 40s.

A year on, all that is true is I miss my mama. She wasn’t perfect. (Who is?)

All that remains is the love. And a deep gratitude. And. I miss her.

I’m grateful, and I wish I could have let her know more. And I think she knows. And I think she’s happy. I told you so! Mothers.